by April Fools, March 31, 2025
President Trump continued his hail of executive orders today but one stood out as the oddest. The order seeks to limit the number expatriates from returning to the United States. It could pose problems for expatriates returning as soon as June 1st. Many were still baffled by this order even after his explanation.
President Trump said, ”These so called Americans decided they wanted to live elsewhere. They’re not true Americans so they can’t just come back. They can try and enter this great country like any other alien. Why would somebody go live in London for example when we have so many great American places to live. Look at my good friend David Beckham who lives here now because London sucked so badly.”
We reached out to Dave Beckham but he declined to comment. Instead he just took his shirt off. As usual, President Trump rambled on for 20 more minutes and finished with this comment. “ If they try and sneak back in, ICE will catch them and hold them in El Salvador until we can send them back to the stinking country they seem to like better.”
Ridgeline Tour 